tin can phones

eat your heart out, suchandsuch

ATTN: SELF LOATHERS
I am going to start carrying around a bag of
<------these and if I hear you engage in NEGATIVE SELF TALK, you will promptly be corked. Negative self talk (NST) includes, but is not limited to, phrases such as: "I'm a fucking loser," "I'm a dumbass," "I'm going to die alone," and "I'm ugly," as well as insecure queries such as "why don't I have a boy/girl friend," "why doesn't suchandsuch like me," and the ever popular "does this make me look fat." (Yes, I realize I skipped the quesiton marks; all the ?s and "s were irking me). Admittedly, I have abused this rhetoric as well, with varying degrees of irony and sarcasm, so there's no soap-boxing here, but I've just gotta say, it's TIME TO STOP WITH IT. For some reason there has been an influx of this talk directed at me lately, and all I have to say to the people whose mouths it has drained from is: you are fabulous! you are beautiful! you are loved! OKAY?!!? PS. I recognize that I deserve a swift smack in the mouth should I let slip one of these shibboliths after making it seem that I view myself as somehow exempt from the innate human tendency to edit, second guess, and criticize ourselves internally, even should we not utter a word. At least 50% of the time after I say something to someone, I go, "WHY DID I JUST SAY THAT?" in my head. But I feel like maybe if negative self talk wasn't so casually and often thrown around, that we might actually have these internal moments of insecurity less. Plus, it's just unbecoming.
Speaking of self loathing/self pity, here's one of the best poems out there on it. I found it while going through my old notebook from American Romanticism class.

It's By Stephen Crane (Lord love him. I just pretend he's not responsible for the catastrophe that is The Red Badge of Courage.) :

In the Desert

In the desert
I saw a creature, naked, bestial,
Who, squatting upon the ground,
Held his heart in his hands,
And ate of it.
I said, "Is it good, friend?"
"It is bitter – bitter", he answered,
"But I like it
Because it is bitter,
And because it is my heart."

"Because it is bitter, / And becuase it is my heart" ??? HELL YES. I actually wrote this poem in permanent marker on the hanging wall mirror in me and BJ's old bedroom, and left it there for the cheerleaders I subletted to. Undoubtably an act of bitterness and self pity. I'm sure they took it down pronto.

And an even better poem, but only if you know the poet in person. This too, was found in the margins of the above mentioned notebook. I have NO idea what the context of it is, but it appears on the page containing notes on Poe's "Ligea," under the subject header "Ligea: Earth Angel Versus Rich Slut" :

Roses are red
Violets are blue
If I had a brick
I would throw it at you.

~Hugh Ingrasci

I honestly laughed out loud when I found that today. It's not a found-poem so to speak, but there was definately the found-poem thrill when I stumbled across it. I feel like I'm finding found-poems in snippets of text everywhere these days, so I'm culling a handful to post soon. If anyone has any, please send them to me, along with the source! Thank you!

posted by Nadyja Cree @ 2:25 PM